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WWE: Monday Night Raw Recap + Review 4/2

HHH & Stephanie McMahon Face off with Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle

The Coach is out to moderate this, HHH & Stephanie carried this segment. Ronda is so much more likable in this setting. Coach asked 3 simple questions from the “WWE Universe” supposedly. Stephanie had a great line about how we all know how Ronda handles losses. Ronda had a a great rebuttal asking Stephanie if she was right or left handed so Stephanie can still sign her checks after Ronda breaks her arm. Segment ended with a professional photo op that Coach claimed wouldn’t get out of control like the UFC ones. Coach lied, HHH hit Angle on the back of his head, Ronda went to choke him but Stephanie got behind her and did a slow motion back drop and put Ronda through the softest looking table. Crowd surprisingly didn’t pop for that.

Bayley defeated Sonya DeVille

Clunky match, Sonya isn’t ready for the main roster but with that being said it wasn’t a bad match per Raw standards. Finish of the match was a clunky looking roll up out of nowhere. Post match, Absolution were putting the boots to Bayley, Sasha came out for the save, her and Bayley cleaned house. Sasha then wanted Bayley to raise her hand for helping her Bayley refused claiming she didn’t want Sasha’s help. Then they brawled  witch gave Absolution a chance to lay out both Sasha and Bayley.

 

Seth Rollins defeated Finn Balor

Miz was guest commentator. He came off as a huge babyface meanwhile talking about fatherhood. The match started off slow, so it gave the listeners a chance to hear Miz use all these dad terms. Super long match, it was actually really good kind of makes you want to see these two go at it alone at Wrestlemania without the Miz. Huge “this awesome” chants from the crowd. They also teased the finish from the last Balor/Rollins match the superplex into the falcon arrow in which Balor was able to roll up Rollins but Rollins was able to kick out this time. Rollins wins via curb stomp. Great last few minutes.

They replayed the opening segment, Ronda going through the table looked even worse in slow motion.

Both Battle Royals and Cruiserweight Title Match will be on the Wrestlemania preshows.

Recap video for Roman Reigns/Brock Lesnar

Paul Heyman is backstage talking on the phone as Kurt Angle approaches him. Kurt tells Heyman not to say anything that would incite Roman Reigns. Heyman cackled at the fact that Angle is afraid of what Roman Reigns might do to Brock. Heyman then agreed to do things Angle’s way.

Bar Promo

The Bar doesn’t care  about who Braun’s partner is because eventually Braun is going to have to tag his partner in and they won’t have any chemistry. Braun comes out and admits he doesn’t play well with others but management is making him get a partner. Braun will reveal his partner if one of  members of the Bar agree to have a match with his partner, they agree. Braun pulls a Clark Kent, Braun’s partner is his brother Brains. Crowd died with this. Braun’s partner will be revealed at Wrestlemania.

Woken Matt Hardy defeated Goldust

No one cared about this match. Crowd is dead unless they’re chanting delete. Matt won via side effect.

Then, Mickie & Alexa do fat jokes about Nia Jax in those silly cell phone selfie promos.

John Cena Promo

John Cena comes out and says  he isn’t mad that the Undertaker didn’t accept his challenge. He is going to Wrestlemania fired up as a fan. John Cena explains why he can’t be in the Battle Royal, or be Braun’s partner, or get into another match. Apparently, if Cena were to do that he would be taking someone’s spot , someone that’s earned it. The explanation made no sense considering Braun doesn’t have a partner yet in storyline. And there’s never been a limit on how many people can declare themselves for the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. The crowd chants for Undertaker. Cena asks the crowd to summon the Undertaker. John Cena says that Undertaker left his hat in the ring but it’s clear that he left his balls at home. Cena’s music hits and he’s gone, still no Undertaker.

Kurt Angle meets with Roman Reigns and  tells him not to ruin his chance at Wrestlemania. Roman says he is staying and because he respects Kurt he will be willing to listen to Paul Hayman. Roman says that if Paul says anything stupid that he will go out there. According to Roman, Kurt sold his gold medals at a pawn shop. No idea why that line was said

Elias defeated Heath Slater

Elias bad mouths Atlanta prematch. Elias wins a quick match.

Braun is walking backstage and Curt Hawkins finds him and asks him if he can be his partner. Braun asks him his win/loss record. Curt told him it wasn’t great but being his partner could be his big break. Braun throws him through a wall and tells him that’s his big break. You can cross Curt Hawkins as a potential partner.

Nia Jax sit down interview

Nia Jax says that Alexa Bliss making fun of her brought back memories from her childhood.  She never thought Alexa could do such a thing.  Nia then says that even though he comments took a toll on her but that she doesn’t take shit. And that she is proud of who she is. Nia also called Alexa an insecure little girl.

Asuka & Dana Brooke defeated Alexa Bliss & Mickie James

Dana Brooke is apparently a baby face this week. Back from break, Cole mentioned that Asuka had not tagged in yet and if Dana lost, Asuka would lose her streak. Asuka needs to pick better partners or be more like Braun and ask about win/loss records before teaming with people. Dana finally tags Asuka in. Winner via Asuka Lock, Asuka. Post match, Micke and Alexa put the boots to Asuka, Nia Jax runs down for the save. Alexa escapes and Mickie takes a Samoan drop from Nia.

Brock Lesnar & Paul Heyman Promo

The Raw roster is on the ramp to prevent Roman from entering the ring. Paul says if by some act of God Roman Reigns were to win this it is the last time you would see Brock and Paul on Monday Night Raw. Reigns comes out and asks the guys on the ramp if they’re going to protect a part time bastard like Brock. The guys part like the Red Sea. The Brock tells Roman to “think about it boy”. There is a face-off in the ring, Brock retrieves to grab a chair and heads back into the ring. Reigns does five superman punches and then grabs the Universal title and poses with it over a prone Lesnar. Lesnar recovers and gives Roman an F5. Show ends with Roman laid out and Brock walking off with the Universal title.

 

 

 

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