The anticipation is over, it’s time for a new era of WWE NXT, on the CW Network.
From The OC to the NXT, the evolution of content on this network is outstanding. The future stars of WWE will stand on the shoulders of Buffy, Sam and Dean, Superman and Lois and more as they look to make names for themselves
The show kicked off with Shawn Michaels, who welcomed everyone to The CW and revealed brand new NXT World Championships for both the men and the women’s division.
Triple H, also made an appearance and asked Chicago one question. The question wasn’t “Who are you voting for?” It wasn’t “Do you use Ranch or Blue Cheese with your wings?” DX had one question, and three words for Chicago.
Are you ready?
Chicago was and the first match got underway.
Roxanne Perez (c) vs. Giulia for the NXT Women’s Championship
Back from commercial, and Roxanne had Giulia in a hammerlock on the mat. Giulia attempted to counter the submission, which then led to a bit of a slap fight between the two competitors. Giulia gained the advantage, first with her fists and then with her head, as she hit the champion with a series of headbutts. Giulia then began tossing the champion around the ring by her hair. Giulia punched Roxanne again, before taking the champ down with a combination hammerlock-turned-northern lights suplex.
Giulia attempted a pumphandle slam, but Roxanne reversed it and the two got into another fist fight.
Following the fisticuffs, Roxanne sent Giulia to the outside of the ring, but followed closely after her, diving through the ropes onto the challenger. However, before the champ could take advantage, Giulia followed her to the top rope and delivered a big super-plex. Not one to stay down, Roxanne kicked out of a pinfall attempt, and attempted a Rings of Saturn, which turned into a pinfall attempt, which turned into a crossface. The challenger, however, reversed that into a submission of her own, the STF. Luckily, Roxanne got a rope break.
The fans began chanting 50/50 for both competitors, surely knowing that they were witnessing something special.
Giulia attempted a backslide, which Roxanne kicked out of, only to be rewarded with a big knee to the face, for a two-count. Roxanne attempted an inside cradle, which was kicked out of. And then she hit her Pop Rox sunset flip finisher, but Giulia, ever the ring master, was able to escape from the ring, through the ropes.
Chicago began chanting NXT again, as Giulia hit Roxanne with a northern lights bomb on the floor. The ref began his ten count but both women re-entered the ring to beat the count.
Roxanne grabbed the NXT Women’s Championship and attempted to hit Giulia with hit, but the referee intercepted it. As he was distracted, however, a familiar face returned and hit Giulia, which led to Roxanne hitting a second Pop Rox for the win! It was Cora Jade! Cora Jade is back and the NXT Women’s roster continues to be absolutely stacked with talent.
Winner: Roxanne Perez
Following the match, we cut to CM Punk as he arrived at the arena. Even though, an hour ago, there was already video of him backstage with Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Oh well. It then cut to the arrivals of Trick Williams and NXT Champion Ethan Page, looking absolutely (heh) debonair in his suit and sunglasses.
It was announced that Wes Lee vs Zachary Wentz in a street fight would be up next!
Returning from the commercial break, NXT commentator Vic Joseph went through the necessary ad placements, before cutting to a vignette of Axiom and Nathan Frazer taking on A-Town Down Under…on WWE 2K24. The two ended up arguing, as per usual, which led to Frazer losing his cool and throwing his controller on the ground, which we’ve all done at some point in our lives, especially when it came to Mario Kart and even though you all agreed you wouldn’t throw the bananas at each other during the race, your best friend Eric still did and that’s what led to him winning the race and it made you so mad that you punched him in the face and he started crying like the little baby that he was and you had to go home and you couldn’t have sleepovers with Eric anymore because his mother was “afraid of you and what you might do and maybe you should think about going to anger management classes.”
Anyway. Where were we?
Another cut backstage to NXT GM Ava talking to CM Punk. So many letters. Lexis “Don’t call me Junior” King appeared and asked if he could talk to Punk. Punk asked if King had a Chicago star shaved into his head and said that, out of respect for his father, he’d let it slide. But we won’t. King said that he’s trying to be different and he’s trying to do the right thing and be his own man. But doing so caused him to lose to Oro Mensah. Punk said King had two dogs in him – one wants to win at all costs and one wants to fight against his genes. I don’t know what that means, but King thanked Punk for his “advice” and the two fist bumped.
A hype video for Wes Lee vs. Zachary Wentz aired, which detailed the history between the two former tag team partners.
Wes Lee, looking like Raven in 2001, made his entrance with a shopping cart full of weapons. Zachary Wentz, on behalf of The Rascalz, made his entrance as well. And the two got…it…on!
But not before we went backstage again to see Lola Vice and Jaida Parker arguing about who needed whom more, before Kelani Jordan entered the picture and said they both needed each other. But then she remarked that, just in case, she had a backup plan.
Foreshadowing!
Zachary Wentz vs. Wes Lee in a Street Fight
As Wentz made his way to the ring, Lee immediately tried flipping onto him from the ring, but Wentz ducked, ran into the ring, and performed his own dive! Wentz threw Lee into the guardrail (if it’s still called that?). Then he threw Lee into the shopping cart. Then he threw the shopping cart into Lee.
Wentz threw Lee back into the ring as the crowd chanted that they wanted tables. Wentz looked to oblige, but instead of pulling out a table, he pulled out a large, thin piece of plywood. Remember that for later, it’ll be important.
As Wentz was adjusting his wood, Lee dove onto him and then threw him into the ring. And if YOUR wood needs adjusting, you can visit Bluechew.com/Denise (?).
A commercial break, followed by a shot of Ethan Page taping his wrists. Luckily, Tony Atlas wasn’t around to yell at him. Real ones know.
Back to action, and Lee was hitting Wentz with a kendo stick/Singapore cane. Lee tried to strike again, but Wentz ducked and hit a superkick. Then he hit Lee in the back with a chair. Then he hit Lee in the back with a different chair. Then, as the crowd chanted “one more time!” Wentz tried to dive over Lee, but Lee caught him in a sleeper hold on the ring apron. Booker T started calling Lee Trey Miquel for some reason. Lee continued to try and put Wentz to sleep, but the two dove off of the ring apron to the aforementioned plywood, which was set up on a couple of chairs.
Cut to commercial again, and Ryan Reynolds is talking about T-Mobile and being just, like, SO super self aware. It’s either endearing or annoying, depending on your perspective.
Coming back from commercial, Wentz performed a Coast-to-Coast (which was called a Van Terminator first, and yes we’re nerds for wanting to make that a point). Wentz connected, and the crowd started chanting “Holy S….tuff” (not the actual word). But Lee kicked out at two.
Lee attempted a hurricanrana, but it was reversed by Wentz and he was dropped face-first onto a steel chair. Still just a two-count, however.
Wentz put a trashcan over Lee and then started beating him again with a kendo stick, before hitting a big knee attack.
With Lee on the ground, Wentz went to the top rope and hit a swanton bomb onto his former partner, who was still inside of the trash can. And Lee still kicked out! Wentz attempted his top rope cutter, but Lee pushed him off the ropes and sent him crashing over the set up table. Very impressive visual.
Lee then hit a double stomp onto Wentz, who was prone on a chair. But Wentz kicked out. Lee wrapped his fist in a chain, but it appeared that Wentz did too. Both men hit each other in the face. Wentz got to his feet first, and did his best Johnny Wrestling impression, threatening Lee with a steel chair, but saying that he didn’t want to do it. Well, he should have. Because Lee kicked him below the belt and then started hitting him in the face again with the chain. Lee then hit his double knee onto Wentz, who was sitting prone on the chair. Lee had his knees wrapped with the chain and that’s what led to him getting the one-two-three.
Winner: Wes Lee
Cut backstage to the newly-turned Miz who would be hosting an episode of MIZ TV, featuring North American Champion Oba Femi, and his new rival, Tony DeAngelo.
Miz was in the ring already and Chicago let him know that they didn’t like him. Despite that, Miz introduced both Oba Femi and Tony DeAngelo. DeAngelo came out with his family, but left them to enter the ring by himself.
Miz reminded Tony that he said he was afraid of Oba Femi and honestly, who wouldn’t be? Tony said that he was usually the one to strike fear in his opponents, but Oba absolutely dominates. Tony said he was going to use his fear to overcome and become the new North American Champion. Miz asked Oba to retort, which he was happy to do.
Oba told Tony that he doesn’t believe anything he’s saying. He said Tony is the type of guy to have a ceiling. He said, a little too nonchalantly for our liking, that Tony could stuff people in trunks and toss them off bridges, but that he can’t win the North American Championship. And that’s hilarious. “You can murder men, but not win this belt.” Love it.
Tony said he grew up in Chicago. He has family there. He has friends there. Oba said his family can’t win for him. Oba said the last time the two met, he beat Tony. Like Bane defeating Batman, Oba broke him. Tony said Oba is just a man. But Oba, channeling his inner-Thanos, said “I am inevitable.” Which…good! Someone should use that line as a catchphrase. And nobody makes more sense than Oba.
An interviewer who shall remain nameless (because I have absolutely no idea) caught up with Cora Jade, who said that everyone forgot about her, what with the debuts of Giulia and Stephanie Vaquer. Roxanne Perez confronted Cora and Cora bragged about being former friends, but liking what she saw. Roxanne said common enemies may bring them back together and was it just me, or was their chemistry, like, off the charts!…?
Lola Vice and Jaida Park made their entrance for the next matchup against Fatal Influence.
Jaida Parker and Lola Vice vs. Jacy Jayne and Fallon Henley
A pretty standard start to the match for these four athletes. Parker began her offense against Jacy Jayne, before tagging in Vice who performed a log-roll type move? I dunno. The women traded blows and then Parker tagged back in and hit a big knee attack on Henley. Parker slapped Henley a few times, before stacking her partner on top of her and then she hit her big hip attack.
After recovering, Henley hit a jawbreaker on Parker. After missing a hot tag, Vice accidentally ran into Parker, who then walked out on her partner. Vice countered a double-team move, but the odds proved too difficult to defeat. Henley and Jayne nailed their Knee Attack/Shining Wizard combo for the win.
Fatal Influence then called out Kelani Jordan, who was doing commentary. She stood up but, knowing the odds were not ever in her favor, called on her Plan B…who just so happened to be Bianca Belair and Jade Cargill. The three women cleared the ring and stood victorious.
Back from commercial, and a promo video of Je’Von Evans aired, focusing on his match next week with Randy Orton.
Then, it was TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT!
CM Punk made his entrance first and, unfortunately, he was no longer wearing the Shawn Michaels-circa-1997 referee outfit that he was wearing earlier in the night. Oh well.
Trick Williams and the champion, Ethan Page made their entrances and were given the championship match introduction. Page, with his shit-eating grin that would make him an excellent politician one day, gave his NXT Championship to Punk, who raised it for both competitors.
Then he rang the bell.
Ethan Page (c) vs. Trick Williams for the NXT Championship
Page and Williams locked up. Page got the advantage and pushed Williams into the corner. Punk began the count, and then put himself between Page and Williams, breaking up the tie up. Page got a little mouthy and told Punk he was only there to count to three.
The two tied up again, and this time Williams backed Page into the corner. Punk also broke that up, proving that he would call it right down the middle.
Page tried a rollup pinfall attempt, but Williams kicked out. Williams then made his own pinfall attempt, but Page kicked out. Page tried to pin Williams again, this time draping his feet across the ropes, but Punk saw it and refused to count.
Page started punching Williams, who returned the fisticuffs before hitting Page with a diving clothesline. Williams pinned Page for a two-count. Page pulled Williams into the ropes and then attempted a bicycle kick and pinfall attempt. Another kickout. Williams ducked a clothesline attempt and then hit a beautiful dropkick, which sent Page to the outside. Williams threw Page into the apron. Er. Display board? What do we call it? Then Page threw Williams into the guardrail. Er. Protective wall? I don’t know.
Commercial break. Lots of commercials about Jesus on The CW Network. Do they still air 7th Heaven? Remember that show? Lucy was such a babe.
Back from the break and Page had the advantage. He was stomping Williams or, in other words, he was whopping that Trick. Another stomp attempt, but Williams caught his leg. Page gained the advantage again and hit a DDT for another two-count. Page put Williams in the corner and started punching him, but Williams eventually ducked and then hit a jumping neckbreaker. The two men both struggled to get to their feet, and then Williams hit Page with a one-man flapjack.
Then Booker T started saying something about champagne wishes and caviar dreams, for some reason.
A big boot from Williams sent Page to the outside. Page rebounded and sent Williams face-first into the steel steps, and then hit an Ego’s Edge on Williams through the announce table!
Another muted “Holy Sugar” chant.
The two got back in the ring, and Williams was able to hit a big knee on Page. Both men were down and out and, as they tried to both get to their feet, Punk stood in the middle of them, challenging them, motivating them, inspiring them. They started trading blows and it was an absolute ballyhoo. We’re talking full on bedlam! Punches and kicks, followed by a bicycle kick and then a superkick by Page. An uppercut from Williams into a neckbreaker. Williams hit Page with his version of the Uranage suplex/Rock Bottom. He connected, but Page kicked out. Williams tried his Trick Shot finisher, but Page missed and his a knee of his own for another two-count.
Page got mad at Punk for only counting to two, and so he hit a GTS on Williams to mock Punk, like the absolute brat that he is. He pinned Williams, but only got a two-count and Punk gave him the same “deuces” hand gesture that he gave Drew McIntyre.
Page attempted another Ego’s Edge, but Williams escaped. Page went for another kick, but Williams ducked and hit a Trick Shot to pick up the one-two-three. Trick Williams is your new NXT Champion!
Winner and New NXT Champion: Trick Williams
After the match, Punk hit Ethan Page with a GTS of his own, and confetti fell as Williams celebrated his win!
And so ends the inaugural episode of NXT on The CW Network. A good show, with good matches. Not as many “surprises” as some fans may have hoped, but this era of NXT is more focused on the present and the future, not the past. Next week promises to be a great show as well, so we’ll see you next Tuesday, yeah?